BSD
Administrator
It started with the nightmares.
Permitted downtime while awaiting to hear any news or further instruction from the Captain. Back to the barracks. Rest.
Within the first week Kazumi would awaken every night, filled with dread but unable to remember the dreams. Remembering the dream, it turned out, would cause her even more pain. As her recollection of the nightmares grew, the more intense they became and the wilder her reaction would be. It was the face of the last man she has “interrogated”. So focused, so sleep deprived, she had allowed herself to commit such actions without a second thought. When he died, his head drooped downward. No time was wasted in her departure, not even taking a second glance to the man who died because of her. In her nightmare, his head would not fully droop. It would instead lull for a few moments. Bobbing around as he struggled to lift his head. It was her husband’s face. From her living life. Eyes and mouth hollow, simply blank voids where they should have been. The darkness in him reflected what he had spread to her.
It was a major conflict. The reasons for her actions were justified and potentially saved many lives. She believed in this cause. But she was not a violent person. Somewhere beneath the surface was a rage she’d called upon. Could she do that again? Did she want to?
The nightmares reached a breaking point. Standing in the hallway still asleep, piercing screams echoing throughout the barracks. Some kind soul approached her, waking her up and returning her to her senses. It was that night she had submitted her application for a transfer. She couldn’t handle it any longer. Ninth seemed the most logical. Shinobu was there. She would feel safer and more content in her presence. At the time, she had considered her options were limited to running away. That was all she knew. Endure or run. Her endurance waned; she ran.
Two months now from that awful day. She had seen neither her Captain nor Lieutenant since then. Today was the day she walked into her new life within a new Division. Packing clumsily, her remaining items shoved carelessly into a bag. A knot formed in her throat. I don’t… A sharp sound escaped her lips unbidden, bringing her right hand to her mouth. The copper taste of the blood was suddenly present in her mouth; however, it was little and only two of them were cut. Her eyes sought out the object that had harmed her, carefully plucking it from under a shirt.
Oh. That. As she had searched for a way to help her remain within Second and came up with no useful solutions, she had given up. Two days previously she had received the strange looking item. The orb in the center was glowing, pulsing. It seemed like It wished to pull her in. Shaking her head, she tossed it into her bag, though as it left her hand the feeling of a note attached to the back of the item. It doesn’t matter anymore. She was leaving and she had to accept that there was no way to aid her and allow her to stay.
’I…don’t…’
Images of her squad flashed before her. The glares and the smiles. Everything. She bit down on her lip harshly, staring down at her hands.
With a sweep of her arm she slapped the bag away. Various items falling out as it arced through the air until hitting the wall. Breathing deep she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She had made this decision. It was best for everyone. Her voice betrayed her, speaking her thoughts aloud, unbidden by her.
”I don’t…I don’t want to go.”
Wiping away the tears as she fought to control them, she felt a calming sense of relief as she understood. This was what she needed to do. No running away this time. A quick search of the floor and she found the gift again. Assuming she would have some down time, perhaps she would be able to discover if the thing could do anything and what it claimed it could. For now, she needed to talk to Kyomu. It wasn’t difficult to know where he was, with Lieutenant Yugure. Again, something many of them know. Her location was not a mystery to most if not all the squad members. So diligent of keeping track of them.
[From Southeast Seireitei to Northwest Seireitei]